Love ♥ Suicide

was busy preparing for my finals this few days

SM oh SM~~~

when i was blurring around relaxing my mind,

i came across to a disappointing news in FB last nite

a fren shared out a link of the 'last note' of a guy who took his own life over a gal

he was a 22 yr old, quite good looking guy

took his own life, jumping down from his 14th floor home

after breaking up with his GF who he dated for 4 months...

为女死，为女亡 (die because of a girl)

is what most ppl commented on his deed...

there are so many different opinions for his death~~~

some uttered hatred on his ex GF saying that she caused his death

while some expressed condolences for his stupid act~~~

some extreme ppl even scolded on his FB saying that he will no RIP,

adding that ppl who choose to suicide does not have the right to RIP~~~

wow... his death has become a great issue drawing so many attentions

i personally felt sad for his family & friends for the loss

but it's not a sympathy to his death...

it was his choice...

the life was his, & he's the one who chose to end it~~~

no one shud be blamed for his loss

including his ex GF...

in his 'last note' he mentioned a lot of memories of him & his ex GF

saying that the 4 months time is the happiest moment in his life,

but why now he chose to end his life???

is this the right way to prove to someone how much u love her???

by committing suicide for her???

& leaving a haunting memory in her life???

is this true love???

u have the courage to jump down, but u don't have the courage to move on

also,

in his 'last note'

he begged for forgiveness on behalf of his ex GF

saying that it was not her fault...

it was just 'SHE GAVE HIM THE COURAGE TO END HIS LIFE'

what rubbish are you talking about here...

if you don't want to put her into hot soup bcos of ur suicide

why on earth u make ur suicide plan in public???

u have the mood to snap ur last crying pic 

& writing a bilingual last note before posting in ur FB...

i can't really understand what's ur motive doing all this stuffs

u thought that u'll be memory in ur ex GF???

NO~~~

it's not a memory...

it's a haunting tragedy that might disturb her for the rest of her life

now that everyone is hunting for her for opinion

ur selfish deed has brought sadness & distress to all the ppl around you

there's always a saying...

only the left behind people is the saddest when you leave...

now that u're gone~~~

not feeling anything but what about the one who are still here???

there are so many ppl out there struggling for their life

but you just end yours like that...

you've never respected your life...

& you never appreciated your parents' effort in bringing u up~~~

well, maybe there's only LOVE in your life

that nothing else can take over it

that you chose to end your life...

now that there's no 'Take 2' in life~~~

may your soul rests in peace

if u do have a chance to be human in ur next life

pls, appreciate ur life...

v ask for life, not for death~~~

to those out there who are having the intention to suicide...

pls think twice~~~

think about the one who loves you....

they needs You!!!

My Way, My Responsibility

i realized that i've been complaining a lot lately...

i don't know why...

maybe it's bcos of some changes in terms of attitudes of the ppl around me

or is it I'm the one who changed???

sometimes we'll be in doubt

whether is it we are going away from our friends?

or is it they are the one leaving us?

no matter how it goes,

when 1 of us made the first move...

everything will back into its place

like nothing has happened before...

i've been spending less time at home this semester...

these few days during study break,

everyday i spent studying & revising at home...

i realized something~~~

Daddy has grew old...

he hurt his arm few days ago

but due to some sickness, 

he can't use medications to reduce the pain or the inflammation

looking at his greyish hair & wrinkled hands...

i realized that Daddy's getting older...

the most important Man in my life

the one who had dedicated his whole life for us three

few weeks ago,

i've been to a job fair organized in my uni

there's a 'Work & Travel to USA' plan specially designed for uni students

to experience the life in USA

undeniably, I was very attracted to it

it needs around RM10k for all the expenses to be in USA

i did planned to work for few months after i graduated

then i'll go for the plan~~~

but now I realized that I can't be so selfish

Daddy & Mummy have been working their almost 3 quarter of their life to raise us

now that it's my turn to do something

to reduce their burden...

just like 2nite...

Daddy told me that his arms aches a lot at night

till he couldn't sleep...

my tears almost fell onto my cheeks when i heard that

but there's nothing I can do

other than to keep him accompanied

& to comfort him...

I need to graduate as planned...

He's been putting a lot of hope & expectations on me

I knew it...

I can't let Him down anyway~~~

and also Mummy...

They have been working so hard for us~~~

I can't let Them down...

LEE WAI SUM

kambate in ur finals...

u only left 2 semesters to push ur CGPA even higher...

You know You can Do It!!!

FrienDshiP Forever???

how many times in life do we repeat the phrase:

'FRIENDSHIP FOREVER'

i could still remember

in my primary school days, when there are friends following their

family transferring to other states...

we'll stand a chance to jot down some words & out personal details

in a lil book called... 'biography'

never missing a 'MUST' sentence at the end of our notes...

'Friends Forever' @ 'Friendship Forever'

but who actually can promises this???

you? you? or you? 

all these years

i've experienced it many times...

friendship since kindergarten can breaks easy as ABC...

i seems to have lose confidence in this phrase...

i no longer believe in what so called Friends Forever...

is it a good thing? or a bad thing?

i don't really know...

until today~~~

 yrs friendship starts shaking as if there was an earthquake

it no longer matter much though~~~

it's nothing to surprise about

everyone have their own traits & characteristics

if ppl can stand urs, but u can't stand theirs...

that's it~~~

turn around & say v're no longer friends~~~

if you think you're that good that ppl don't deserve your friendship

fine~~~

but y shud U bad-mouth ppl in front of others???

what u get from it???

U think U're really that good???

nobody is perfect...

life is like a circle....

how u treated ppl today,

is how u are going to be treated tomorrow...

People who are bad-mouthing others out there...

Good Luck~~~

♥ F.A.M.I.L.Y. ♥

F.A.M.I.L.Y.

what feelings do you have for this word???

Happiness?

Joy?

Love?

Bored?

or even Hatred?

for me,

my Family is the safest place on earth!!

a place that gives me protection against the biggest disaster...

a place that gives me unlimited LOVE & CARE...

a place where I can hide,

when I fall @ when i wanna run away from something...

I've never have the feeling this strong,

until I started to stay at apartment...

since my timetable was not so flexible 

& there are many nite classes,

i'll stay overnite at apartment during the weekdays

& come home on Thurs...

since then,

whenever I bek home from apartment

Mum will prepare special dishes that I love...

Dad will also prepare special dishes during the weekend...

as for today,

it's still the same...

Daddy prepared his well-known

homemade tofu & fried drumstick

although it was not what special dishes for most ppl

but for me,

it represents love of my parents...

also,

both my cute lil sis sharing info that i've missed during the days...

at that time,

i felt like was the happiest person in the world...

what's more precious than sharing quality time with our beloved family

& having great time disturbing our pets...

yummy Tofu & Drumstick by Daddy...

i love my cat (Boo Boo)

i used to disturb her whenever i was around...

i stil remember when v picked her bek from daddy's office

it was so small & fragile

that it can sit on my palm...

it's too small that v're afraid v might step on it when v walked around in the house

but now,

she's grown up & has many bf(s) too

in her afternoon nap...>.<

close-shot...

I'm thankful to God for all the blessings...

especially when i c broken families

@ families that hates each other 

@ quarrels all the time...

v do quarrel at times, but in a joking manner...

I Love my Family~~~

without them,

I was Nothing...

Thanks for Everything...

Muacksss...

Enjoyment turned Trouble

been days since i updated my blog...

having a terrible week~~~

like previous semesters,

we are planning for a class gathering

initial plan is to have bbq but some objected & proposed another idea

having a buffet instead...

the main problem here is that,

the min pax for the buffet is 50 person

but our class only have 25++ ppl...

meanings that we have to bring frens along in order to cover the cost

otherwise, each of us gotta pay double (RM40 per person)

haiz~~~

isn't it good to have the initial plan

where we can have leisure time bbq-ing, 

chit chatting while waiting the food to be ready

but now,

everything was in a mess

it's been a problem to find ppl to join

1st... it's our class gathering

2nd...the price

3rd... they just feel weird being there...

i'm not blaming anyone for this idea

cos i noe it was from a grp of ppl who agreed upon this

but have u ever think abt what if v can't find ppl to join us

& that's what really happening now

i'm really speechless now

as Dear ad predicted this will happen when they changed the plan

& v're not going to do anything

cos there's nothing v can do~~~

v've tried to ask ppl to join but was in vain

now, let's wait & see what will happen nex

about our convo photography session...

=.=''

♥ @ppreci@te ♥

~APPRECIATE~

how many of us really do APPRECIATE what we are having now...

family, friends, lover & everything...

i do agree that i am a very lucky person

although i'm not born in a very rich family,

& even at times, we might face financial problems

but, my parents would never say NO to my requests

when i was a baby,

i was LUCKY to have loving Grandma who take care of me

i was LUCKY to have a loving Mum who worked hard to earn a better living for me

i was LUCKY to have a Dad who sacrifices his rests time accompanying me

i was LUCKY to have Sis(s) that cares about me when i was a child

i was LUCKY to have Bro(s) that saves me from cane when i was naughty

i was LUCKY to have loving Grandpa who brings me go yum cha a lot

i was LUCKY to have Uncles & Aunties who loves me a lot

when i grew up,

i was LUCKY to have many friends who cares about me

i was LUCKY to have 2 cute lil sis that brings a lot of cheers into my life

i was LUCKY to have Hubby who loves me with his heart & soul

i tend to take things for granted as

everything that happens to me is good...

even when i faced the greatest challenge or fall,

there's always someone who reaches me & help me up

i really do appreciate all the people around me who cherished me with

LOVE & CARE

i love you all too

i pray to God that your(s) life will be cherished with happiness

& good health...

muaxxx

# post-treatment effect #

it has been a day since i undergo my 1st RCT...

i tot everything will be ok

but my tooth still aches

it really scares me when i bite on the spoon during dinner

it aches so much...

later nite,

i can't even bite off the french fries with the treated tooth

i was worried & online to checked some of the info about RCT

the post-treatment effects stated there was all faced by me

1. the treated tooth feels like losing off

2. the treated tooth aches due to biting

according to the article,

it is not advised to bite using the treated tooth

as it's weakened by the treatment...

it may fracture until a crown is placed on the treated tooth for protection...

haiz~~~

hope it'll recover very soon~~~

♥ Ladies' Time ♥

it has been weeks Mummy ask for a facial mask session

it's either i was busy with my assignments

@

she's too tired for it...

finally tonight,

we have it together...

i left my Nivea mask at Hubby's apartment

the masks at home are not suitable for Ern

cos they are either for ageing skin @ dull skin...

my cute lil sis, manja manja here

& me too, gave up the facial session & waited til nex week

when i get some masks that suits her...

we both helped Mummy put on her mask...

it was so watery & there's still a lot leftovers in the package

v decided to help massage the excess onto Mum's hands & legs

but when it dries off,

the skin turns out to be so smooth...

my childish sis ran up to the toilet to get herself washed

came out & asked me to massage on hers too...

=.=''

she's really damn cute at times that i don't know how to react

we really had a great time together

kacau-ing Mummy...

(since she can't smile @ have any facial expressions)

i really enjoy spending time with Mummy & my two sis 

where we can have a lot of gals' talk

Daddy is great too but u noe

there's things that u just won't tell ur Dad...

:P

i love my family sooo much....

thx for everything...

thx for being there for me all the time when i needed u all

muaxxxx...

♥♥♥♥♥

Endodontic aka 'Root Canal Treatment'

finally...

i went to the dentist for my check-up

as what we have predicted earlier...

'fissure sealant' is no more effective for my front tooth

as the decayed part is too deep...

according to the dentist...

it's a waste of money & time to do 'fissure sealant'

bcos it the decay might have spread to the nerve...

i'll still suffer from pain after all...

the solution, either EXTRACTION @ RCT

one is cheaper but i lost my front tooth...

the other of course is much more expensive but i can still have my tooth back

for sure i'll choose RCT

tat's my front tooth man...

can't imagine when i smile & there's an empty space there

gosh~~~

RCT, however, is a painful treatment

although i was given anesthetic...

but when he is inserting the 'root canal file' into my tooth,

it was so painful & the pain is unbearable

tis was the 'root canal file' that used to clean
out the interior of my tooth 

it was damn painful

the process repeats almost more 10 times

use this 'wicked' thing

pulling in & out of my tooth canal to clean the root

this is how it works...

after more than 6 or 7 times where it hurts a lot...

 i started to feel no more pain from my tooth

he said that the root has been cleaned

he repeated the steps again & again

in between, he'll wash out the debris in my tooth canal

to prevent blockage & infections

tis is my 1st treatment &

 i'll have to go back for the 2nd time treatment in one month time

according to him, the 2nd treatment won't be painful anymore

hope that he's right...

it was a PAINFUL & expensive experience

that i would not like to have the 2nd time

everyone, pls do concern about our dental health 

to avoid more PAIN in the future...

~~Toothache~~

i hated to visit dentist since i was young

i trembled when hearing the machineries sound of their equipments~~~

when i heard the word DENTIST...

what comes into my mind is

FEAR, PAIN, PAIN & LOTS of PAIN~~~

haiz...

i'm going for a dental check-up 2moro

one i've always trying to avoid to...

my front teeth had been aching this 2 nites

it has undergone 'fissure sealant' few months ago

but it aches this 2 days...

not frequently but i'm worried bout it

so, i made up my mind to pay a visit to the dentist...

Mum gave me some preparations

mental preparations actually...

if 'fissure sealant' can't help my tooth anymore,

i might have to either EXTRACT it 

@ undergo some kind of treatment called

'Root Canal Therapy - RCT'

it means that the root of the tooth will be cleaned

 & the root canal will be emptied...

in other words, my tooth will be mummified...

it will not feel any pain anymore...

either 'fissure sealant', 'extraction' or 'RCT'

it still scare me a lot..

GOD, i pray for your forgiveness...

please bless me tomorrow...

please don't let me feel so much pain

dental treatment really tortures me a lot...

TT