Wednesday, October 14, 2009

a very expensive lesson...

9.30am 2009/10/14 was the worst moment i ever had in my life....
my 1st sem result in UTAR was a rubbish... F for my OB.. what the hell is going on with me???
i can't imagine how my parents will react if the come across this... haiz...
anyway, who to be blamed??? nobody but myself... i'm the one who sit for the paper.. why others can pass it but I cant??? haiz... really gotta put in more & more effort in the coming sem... no more lazy... i'm so motivated now... thank God for failing my OB.. it gave me alot of pressure to work harder... much much harder than before... Kambate Lee Wai Sum!!!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Doubting Myself...

it's been a long time since i last blogged... was having a great time for the past 2 months... went to Taiping for a 4-days trip... Had a memorable Valentine's then... Everything was just fine until the new sem starts... It's just barely 3 months v're together but v ad have numerous arguments n misunderstanding... However, they're no big deals as they are really small cases n shud not be remembered... But as time passes on, what i ask from him is getting more n more... Actually I din ask much from him... Just b more responsible to himself n to others... Be more serious to himself and rubbed of that 'i-dont-care' image from others... What i get is a sentence... "That's who I am"
I really dun wanna add more pressures to him but I get really mad when he sometimes he behave like a small kid... Tat 'i-dont-care' attitude him really makes me frustrated... As a result, i kept nagging him n even argued with him... I really hate it when I did all this... Makes me feel that I'm very irritating... Until last Thursday when I stayed back at their apartment to celebrate a fren's bday... We have another argument again... I was really really sad that time... My heart never feel that pain b4... For the 1st time, the intention of breaking-up floats in my mind... I oso thought of leaving immediately but when I thought of my bday fren, i gathered my sadness, wiped off my tears & do other things... Few minuted later, he came forward n again, v make it up...
I'll start to think is it I'm asking too much from him??? Or I should accept him for who he is??? I really dunno... As time goes on, the times of me thinking if we really suits to each other getting more and more... One of my friends told me b4 that he's not the one for me... That we are different people and not suitable for each other... What shud I do now??? On one side, I really dont wanna giv up now, but on the other side, I'm really suffering now... Everytime I think bout this ques, tears'll flow down my cheeks n it's like thousands arrows piercing into my heart...

Monday, January 12, 2009

Broken-Hearted...

trying my best to 4get the sad moments of losing Cat-Cat... but when i heard that Bird-Bird was in trouble... everything about Cat-Cat came overwhelming me... i was really scare... scare that the same thing will happen to it... everyone was so worried but the owner felt nothing, even ask it to die if it wanted to... those words really hurts like stabbing of a knife... how can those words came out from a person's mouth... tat makes me really disappointed... Bird-Bird was tied up with an old necklace around its neck... n now it is strangling itself with that stupid thing... from starting i've been telling its owner not to keep any pets as it was jus a hostel but he jus ignored it... n now, what happened to the poor rabbit??? nothing more than suffer... feel so sad when i saw Bird-Bird gasping for air & its eyes ad blotted out... luckily ntg happened on it... kok fai n blake rushed here n there asking for help to save the poor rabbit but wat the owner did??? sing k... it was really unbelievable... really dunno what on earth is going on with him... suddenly felt that he is a stranger for me... did not know him anymore... haiz... when i came home n entered my room, walked past the passage where Cat-Cat usually lick himself... when v're having dinner, my uncle, as usual, threw bones to the kitchen floor where Cat-Cat usually waits for his snacks... when he looked down, only he realized that Cat-Cat is no longer here... while i online, i'll automatically look out at the wall of my neighbour where Cat-Cat usually walked around... i'll look down always too cos usually Cat-Cat will sit there next to me licking himself while accompanying me online... It has been part of my life n now i lost it so suddenly... i really dunno how much time it'll take for me to overcome it... but what happen is ad happened... there's ntg i can do but to accept the truth... really appreciate Cat-Cat's companion for these 2 yrs time... i'll never 4get u, this very mischievous but comforting cat... May God rests ur soul...